The Kingsroad

Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister depart Winterfell for the Wall, and along the way Jon discovers his ideas of the Night's Watch may not match the reality.

Eddard Stark and his daughters depart for King's Landing, but an incident on the Kingsroad threatens to drive a wedge between him and King Robert.

One thing that is sure to grip an audience is a lot of action, and satisfying action usually involves violence. The Kingsroad episode of Game of Thrones seemed to have delivered that very thing. But first we must begin at Winterfell in the North, where Jon Snow prepares to say goodbye to his family as he will go with his Uncle Benji to join the Night's Watch. He gets someone to craft a sword for Arya and when she receives it, he urges her to give it an name. Arya calls her sword "needle," a very apt and cute name for it because it is as thin as you could make one. It's peculiar to know Arya attaches herself to needle-like swords and combat when she should be into sewing needles much like her sister. I know what I would prefer. I'd take the sword any day as oppose to the sewing needle. The sewing needle can only represent domestic duties for women, and I'd like to gash a six inch sword through those duties.

A lot of people have a liking for the Starks, this includes me, but there is something about Lady Catelyn Stark that displeases me. The constant hostility she greets Jon Snow with because he was born another woman's son. That's colder than Winterfell. The boy did nothing wrong, and I can't say the same for Ned Stark.

Before the Lannisters and the King leave for King's Landing, Lord Tyrion tells Prince Joffery to form an attachment with Sansa Stark as she is to be his betrothed. When Joffery refuses, Tyrion strikes him which of course I enjoyed because my dislike for Joffery has been confirmed by the end of the episode. Tyrion goes to have breakfast with his sister, Cersei and brother, Jamie. He informs them that Brandon Stark may live. This of course has the twins worried as Bran knows a little something about Cersei and Jamie. This is very much gratifying to know. Hopefully, he'll wake up and let the world know what he saw. Incest is a taboo subject now as much as it were in medieval times.

Across the Narrow Sea, the Khaleesi is having a difficult time trying to fit in with Dothraki traditions and married life. As Dany is being treated she is as curious about her stone eggs as everyone else is. The audience can expect dragons to come alive in this show, it's inevitable. Why else would the Khaleesi be so intrigued by them? They don't look stone-like either. They're interestingly scaly. By making those eggs her new armchair for about a year, those babies will get hot enough to crack at least. Dany lets the thought wonder around in her head as she tries to tackle a more immediate problem. Being raped by your husband every night can't be pleasant now can it? Dany asks for some advice from her handmaiden and ex-whore. How do I please my man? A common question the kisses many women's lips. Dany carried this act of love out on Drogo and he seemed to like it. Dany 1-0 Viserys.

Meanwhile as the King travels with Ned back to King's Landing, casual banter is exchanged between the two. Whores, whores and more whores. Eventually the conversation turns to Daenerys Targayen and her recent wedding. The King is aware of the army of Dothraki and he's getting a little anxious. I would be too had Ned not fulfilled his duties rightfully. He reassures the King. The royal army is the mightiest imperial power. They could send 20 men and fight the Dothraki nomads and they'd return from this tiny war with 0 men lost and a full victory. That's my opinion anyway. The Dothraki do not look the conflicting type in extravagant wars like that. Still, the King wants all the Targaryen's dead.

Back in Winterfell, nothing but the sound of toilets flushing because some shit is going down. An assassin attempts to assassinate Brandon, a helpless crippled boy.He first attacks Lady Stark, but a powerful mother with unconditional love for her son will never give up without a fight. Somehow she holds the assassin off. Now, you all have to agree that dogs are the most loyal animal that walked this Earth. Summer, Bran's direwolf rips into the assassin's neck and tears him apart. Dead man on the floor, Summer lays next to Bran as if he just encountered his evening meal. Great! Action pack of wolves! Lady Stark does the one thing that I hoped would happen. She revisits the tower in which Bran was climbing. Little did she know she was sitting in a spot where some disgusting act took place. But she discovers a long, strand of golden blonde hair. Only the Lannisters have blonde hair like that. The council of Winterfell examine the dagger the assissin tried to kill Bran with - it's Valyrian Steel, expensive piece of weaponary, and who are known for their wealth in Game of Thrones? The Lannisters. I think Lady Stark has cracked it and she opts to journey to King's Landing to tell Ned. Woo! Fuck you, Lannister clan - except maybe Tyrion - so far, he's done nothing wrong but have terrible siblings.

Now arrived in King's Landing, Joffery butters up Sansa Stark who easily melts in his hands. Joffery exchanges that sickly sweet-talk with her and she -a beautiful fool who thinks she's in love - willingly accepts that sweet conversation from Joffery. Until they encounter Arya and the butcher's boy play fighting with wooden sticks. Joffery obviously has to impress Sansa some way as men go, and prepares a duel with the butcher's boy. He cuts the boy's cheek ever so slightly, but Arya is no woman. Arya strikes Joffery with the wooden stick and Nymeria, Arya's direwolf, sinks its clawed teeth into Joffery's arm. An inevitable smile from the audience and a great show is put on as we see Joffery suffer in pain and covered in his own blood. Arya chucks his sword into the river. This is when I know that I absolutely love Arya and her ruthless, non-fearful character. But she has to flee and she urges Nymeria to flee too because she'd certainly die if she hangs about.

The Queen, who loves her children to death, did not take this lightly. She ordered the men to go looking for Nymeria and to execute Sansa's wolf, Lady for good measure. Both Sansa and Arya are upset by this news. Ned pleads with the King, but Robert refuses. Ned insists he carries out the execution. A sad moment for us all. One direwolf missing, another dead and this is only the second episode of the series!

To pass the sad moment, an exciting moment takes place in Winterfell. Think about how those Twiheart fans felt when Bella opened her eyes at the end of Twilight Breaking Dawn part 1, to see her red vampire eyes. This is how Game of Thrones fan's felt about Bran when his eyes opened, only it was a million times better than that Twilight shit. That's how phenomenal Game of Thrones is. It outdid Twilight in just a few seconds when Twihearts had waited 3 and a half books and films for that moment. Game of Thrones +1,000,000 - 0 Twilight.